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sleeping-with-sirens-omf:

HOW TO FLIRT IN A MUSEUM: Introduce yourself and then say ‘I would shake your hand but that signs says not to touch the masterpieces.’

snapchatting:

congratulations u won American Idol here is your pat on the back

homestucks-and-shit:

swagscats:

bagmilk:

ONLY DEAD PEOPLE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U DIE AND THAT FRUSTRATES ME

actually my friend had an operation last year and she was legally dead for seven minutes from loss of blood and she said it literally feels like absolutely nothing

that’s not comforting

ericjudysbeard:

Working at LUSH: the saga

sweatrer:

ur insecure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
i kno what for ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ur a bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mrzayn:

you can call me whatever you want but please don’t do shit to zayn malik cause i’ll fight u to DEATH

mexicofifa:

My kink is everybody being nice to me and paying attention to me as well

dickscratch:

if ur gf develops like a tummy and you break up with her or make her feel like shit you’re trash